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I wish Beyonce & Jay-Z would get on stage and present their baby to the world like Mufasa did in the Lion King. 
its sad that the teenagers born after 93... Will never get to truely remember Whitney Houston..
This new episode of The Walking Dead is awesome!! The Celebrity Cameos are too many to count! I wonder why they called this episode "The Grammys"?
Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says "I'm on my period": Priceless.
Its kinda awkward seeing Chris Brown dance around after seeing him naked...
WTH is Lady GaGa wearing? A bug zapper on her face?
"I warned her.." -courtney love
My wife's always walking into things and getting hurt. Yesterday it was our bedroom while I was fu*king her sister.
The new Season of 'Walking Dead' premiers tonight. I will be watching it instead of the Grammy's. Not as many zombies....
Valentines day is cancelled. Mathematical Proof 14-02-12 = 0!
I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear.
I could have lived forever without knowing grandpa had a 'dong down to his knees' but thanks for the visual grandma.
In't it amazing how peeps will always remember exactly what they were doing when they found out JFK & Lennon were murdered? So much easier these days though.. What were you doing when you learnt MJ, Winehouse and Whitney had died? Browsing FB of course!
just got a call from rick ross, said he's jealous of my beard (y)
Blake Shelton said he sits by Lady Gaga at Emmys. He hope she has on meat dress because he is hungry. Like the way he thinks.
WARNING: Hitting "like" or commenting this post may increase breast and or penis size
Best part of being a grown-up? You can eat ice cream whenever you want!
My mood ring isn't a fashion statement. It is a court order!
It's getting harder and harder to tell the zombies from the regular people.
Putting a little bit of syrup into every square on the waffle is my Mona Lisa.
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