Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I've ever made.

   “Happy New Year 2000! Have a fantastic year, and successful 2000!” - New York Alzheimer's Society

   I'm celebrating black history month by playing Pokemon black version. You know, gotta catch Jamal!

   I locked my coat hanger in the car...it's a good thing I carry a spare set of keys

   great day, everyone stared at my ass....then I found out I had a cheerio stuck right where my hole would be

   These American Idol constestants are going down more then a porn star at an orgy.

   just took my dog for a walk, long story short, my neighbor sleeps naked

   dollar menus giving ramen noodles a run for their money

   ID television for insomniacs who dont like info-mercials

   really impressed with size of the coconuts on Survior this season. wow!

   Happy "Morning After Pill" International Day!

   Saw a headline that read 'Woman beats off rapist' and thought.. Well that seems like a reasonable compromise.

   I noticed a lot of celebrities seem to drown in the bathtub...Perhaps a business that tattoos "industrial grade" sand strips to their asses is in order. I'm looking for investors! ツ

   Raise your hand if you remember Carlos Mencia. Okay, now slap yourself.

   I put a lock on my bathroom door. I don't want anyone stealing my chit.

   just asked my son - where would you be without your mother? His answer: "Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger."

   wonders when child abuse became television entertainment..oh wait, its called dance moms..oh, ok then

   Nice try Folgers... but the best part of waking up is realizing it is your day off and going back to bed.

   Today marks Valentine's Day of Silence…..it is for women who did not receive flowers, chocolates, cards etc....on Valentine….

   if the storage wars guyz priced hoarders stuff....well...helloooo mr rockefeller..cha ching