Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3879 of 5593

   messageicon Alcohol goes in, honesty and truth comes out.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 10:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you put more money into the car than you did those 23's, you might not be broke down on the side of the road.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 08:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a huge and very intricate spider web, but no spider. This foreclosure crisis is really getting out of hand
←Rate | 02-18-2012 08:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to tolerate the ramblings of an intelectually deficient redneck, but then I remember that the were likely "born this way"....you know...with an extra chromosome.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am known all over the world for my tendency to exaggerate.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 06:32 by alphabits Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to clear out a room quickly? Start playing muskrat love loudly. You are welcome.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 06:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Prince and Sheena Easton never did tell us who won the World Series of love.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 06:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, "Yes, but does it work on cats?"
←Rate | 02-18-2012 05:56 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just had a fart that sounded like an unoiled door opening slowly. Made the dog bark.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 02:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between puberty and a water bottle? A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 01:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I see a "Baby On Board" sticker on a car, I cant help but think to myself, "Bonus points!"
←Rate | 02-17-2012 23:56 by Chad B | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you can just walk away like nothing happened then it never mattered to you in the first place  
←Rate | 02-17-2012 22:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wonder what it feels like to be one of those pretty girls that all of the guys want, you are probably gay.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl Gamers are the most misjudge characters ever. Guys sees them as Goddesses, industry sees them as Barbie-Wii Mario-Bros chicks, parents sees them as boys, girls sees em as Fatty Emos, when they just are girls with controllers trying to be badasses!
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:29 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, "To my sandwich!"
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what it feels like to be one of those pretty girls that all of the guys want.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a court of law you're innocent until proven guilty. In a relationship you're guilty until proven innocent.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people go underwater during movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. I died at Finding Nemo.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are in love with a guy when you think about having sex with him.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left