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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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OK, I'm getting out of bed in 10 seconds. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,9,9,9,9,9
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02-24-2012 22:59 by
BEGO
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Lazy rule #35: If you spill some water, it will eventually dry.
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02-24-2012 22:58 by
BEGO
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at the beginning of spongebob the captain guy says "i cant hear you"...the Verizon guy keeps saying "can you hear me now?"....i wonder if the 2 are on the phone together
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02-24-2012 22:29 by
Eddy
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there any slight chance to spend a night out without getting the brute hangoverin the morning?!- sign a dieing man
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02-24-2012 22:11 by
Hey You
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I wish the Apostles had been Cowboys instead of fishermen. I would really like a steak or burger today.
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02-24-2012 21:46
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once you go black, you go single parent!
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02-24-2012 20:57
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What is a 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period.
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02-24-2012 20:13
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I'd like to thank my digestive system for getting rid of all the sh!t in my life, without you I'd be full of it!
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02-24-2012 19:39 by
RP
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TGIF - Thank Goose It's Friday
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02-24-2012 19:23
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The Longest a man can hold out without eating is 4 months but me and my checking account are challenging that.
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02-24-2012 18:53 by
hihuggiehi
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A night of insomnia is always followed by a morning of browser history clearing.
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02-24-2012 18:52 by
hihuggiehi
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I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday.
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02-24-2012 18:51 by
hihuggiehi
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I hate looking for a job almost as much I hate not having a job almost as much as I hate working. It's complicated.
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02-24-2012 18:50 by
hihuggiehi
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Ladies. dont jump to conclusions that your boyfriend is cheating just because he never wants you to look at his phone. Its probably just full of porn
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02-24-2012 18:49 by
hihuggiehi
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Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.
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02-24-2012 18:49 by
hihuggiehi
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If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
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02-24-2012 18:49 by
hihuggiehi
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Thank you Facebook for giving us a home. Sincerely, ! and :)
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02-24-2012 18:26
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FYI...It is not 'Always Sunny in Philadelphia'!
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02-24-2012 17:52
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ok its almost March....all the people that joined my gym in January for their new years resolution can stop now, I'm tired of waiting to use machines
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02-24-2012 17:18 by
Chris
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I will be running in a 0.25 mile run in support of people with attention deficit disorder (aka Kardashin Dash)
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02-24-2012 17:14 by
Tsparks
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