Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3852 of 5593

   messageicon OK, I'm getting out of bed in 10 seconds. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,9,9,9,9,9
←Rate | 02-24-2012 22:59 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy rule #35: If you spill some water, it will eventually dry.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 22:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon at the beginning of spongebob the captain guy says "i cant hear you"...the Verizon guy keeps saying "can you hear me now?"....i wonder if the 2 are on the phone together
←Rate | 02-24-2012 22:29 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon there any slight chance to spend a night out without getting the brute hangoverin the morning?!- sign a dieing man
←Rate | 02-24-2012 22:11 by Hey You Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish the Apostles had been Cowboys instead of fishermen. I would really like a steak or burger today.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 21:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon once you go black, you go single parent!
←Rate | 02-24-2012 20:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is a 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to thank my digestive system for getting rid of all the sh!t in my life, without you I'd be full of it!
←Rate | 02-24-2012 19:39 by RP Comments (0)  


   messageicon TGIF - Thank Goose It's Friday
←Rate | 02-24-2012 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Longest a man can hold out without eating is 4 months but me and my checking account are challenging that.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A night of insomnia is always followed by a morning of browser history clearing.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate looking for a job almost as much I hate not having a job almost as much as I hate working. It's complicated.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies. dont jump to conclusions that your boyfriend is cheating just because he never wants you to look at his phone. Its probably just full of porn
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank you Facebook for giving us a home. Sincerely, ! and :)
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI...It is not 'Always Sunny in Philadelphia'!
←Rate | 02-24-2012 17:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ok its almost March....all the people that joined my gym in January for their new years resolution can stop now, I'm tired of waiting to use machines
←Rate | 02-24-2012 17:18 by Chris Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will be running in a 0.25 mile run in support of people with attention deficit disorder (aka Kardashin Dash)
←Rate | 02-24-2012 17:14 by Tsparks Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left