doc noland Funny Status Messages

   Elizabeth Taylor dead? I thought she had been dead for years.

   so Irish he bleeds whiskey.

   Charlie Sheens Interview was like watching Tom Arnold, Tom Cruise and Michael J. Fox all rolled into one human.

   saying "black and yellow black and yellow"... sounds like a R. Kelly home made video.

   noticed that Mick Jager and Hugh Hefner sure are looking alot these days

   cant believe he just watched the New Kids on The Backstreet Boys bring in the New Year...What a terrible way to brink in 2011

   Just realized that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a reindeer.

   Dear Santa, Can we talk about this? I'm so sick and tired being on that list. I'm just having fun.

   has finish with the Wild Turkey on the rocks for lunch, and moved on to Grey Goose straight up for Thanksgiving Dinner. this is just Fowl

   stands mighty in an elite group, Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow

   happy P.O.E.T.S. Day, everyone! Piss On Everything Tommrows Saturday.

   Breaking News: The National Weather Center has issued a tornado warning for Chattanooga TN. For your own safety head to Neyland Stadium in Knoxville, they're not worried about a touchdown there.......

   Knows a way to keep NFL players from acting like sissies, give them all leather helmets to wear again.

   hates Pro Football, but I watched Betty White and Abe Vigoda in a backyard football game....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit. Not like the NFL players.

   I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes saying ayo I said no mayo.

   Dear suicidal insects on my windshield: Stop it, I can't see.

   ex girlfriend just told me that my immaturity erected a barrier between us...I have no idea what she's talking about, but its so funny that she said erected.

   Just got freaky with a Mannequin hand and a electric razor taped to a golf club shaft.

   Just woke up, took the Lemon out of his mouth, removed the belt from around his neck and headed into work.

   once had his Ex crawling toward him on her hands and knees. The thing is, he was under the bed hiding and she was crawling toward him screaming "Come out and fight like a man!"