Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Eventually we'll all just have one app on our phones that electrocutes you when you stop looking at it.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 19:07 by m7mma Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women + yoga pants = WIN!
←Rate | 04-09-2012 18:42 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh WoW! You've dropped out of school to pursue your dreams? Really? How brave!!!.... Now…I'll have a number 3, no cheese, extra Jalapenos and diet Pepsi to go…
←Rate | 04-09-2012 18:13 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: Never die a virgin! Apparently when you get to heaven a virgin you get to be one of the 70 wives of a suicide bomber…
←Rate | 04-09-2012 18:07 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Richardmooney26 Sucks! ...and that's all I'm going to say.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 17:57 by I poop on you Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just been added on facebook by a tin of "pork luncheon meat". Reported it as spam
←Rate | 04-09-2012 17:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 17:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I call bullsh*t on potholes! There's no weed in there, trust me, I checked.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 14:57 by @richardmooney26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to thanks Jesus for a Monday I did not have to experience this week.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a red headed man works at a bakery, Does that make him a gingerbread man?
←Rate | 04-09-2012 14:39 by Lozo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great Idea! Tiny headphones for pigeons who are self-conscious about their head bopping and want to make it look like they're listening to music.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 12:51 by @richardmooney26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you mix Taco Bell sauce into your ramen, It tastes exactly like poverty
←Rate | 04-09-2012 12:28 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon On page 176 of the book karma sutra, apparently I now need a partner..
←Rate | 04-09-2012 12:26 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Does anyone have a cell phone charger with 1.21 Gigawatts of power? I got an email from 5 days in the future and think my phone maybe a Time machine...Smart phone indeed.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 12:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only thing ORIGINAL in this world is weed. so sit back, chill out and talk to the cat.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 10:47 by @richardmooney26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never know who your real friends are until you post something that is not funny.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 10:14 by @richardmooney26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just had sex the Manchester City way....I stayed on top for ages and still came second.....
←Rate | 04-09-2012 09:56 by Ballysboots Comments (0)  


   messageicon The secret of enjoying a good wine is to open the bottle to allow it to breathe. If it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 09:10 by @richardmooney26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how when a guy pees and at the end he shakes his thing to get the last drop out? Well, that's how much gas I got for $2.00.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 09:09 by Kelly Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see Snooki met her weight goal of 98 pounds. AWESOME! One stiff north wind and Canada can deal with her.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 08:51 Comments (0)  



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