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I set my daylight savings time back 13 years so I could party like it was 1999! 
Don't forget to change your clocks tonight and to change your president on Tuesday
At 2AM tonight it's Daylight Savings or "Drunk Dial Everyone You Know" night as my party buddies like to call it.
Apparently the little box on the up right side of fb seems more interesting than the actual status updates!
I take my dog clubbing with me cause he's good at chasing tail...
I bet Flava Flav HATES daylight savings time.
Time to set the clocks ahead 23 hours.
I'm turning my clock back to 1978...
If you were dying of thirst in the desert, I wouldn't let you drink my urine.
I love spending money as much as my government does.
apparently my new girlfriends natural hair color is bald...
New Urban Legand: If you stand in front of a mirror at midnight and scroll so far down your Timeline, you'll end up on MySpace.
an hour back for daylight savingss ?? well good.... atleast the clock in my car will finally be right again.
Too sick to get out of bed, the batteries in the remote control died while channel surfing, and now the TV is stuck on a SpongeBob SquarePants marathon. Oh death, where is thy sting?
Maury needs to lock the Door so those Chicks can't run backstage.. Face it bithc
I have a gardener that'll do pretty much anything you ask of him. It's like having your own Personal Jesus
Show me where you were kissed from a rose so I know it's Seal
I am the type of guy who will not hesitate to tell a midget to grow up!
I'm the type of guy who would block fire exits. Because sometimes Natural selection needs to be nudged along.
I love watching all the fish in my tank suck in the same piece of fish shi t and then spitting it out, thinking it was food. 