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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...No I'm just kidding, it's her boobs.
49
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09-07-2012 14:00 by
Marshall the Great
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If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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09-07-2012 13:59 by
Marshall the Great
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The best thing about relationships is realizing the full level of batsh!t crazy you are capable of achieving.
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09-07-2012 13:58 by
Marshall the Great
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The way to a girl's heart is presents. The way to a woman's heart is presence.
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09-07-2012 13:57 by
Marshall the Great
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Without women, life would be a pain in the ass. If you don't get this, you're too young to be on Facebook.
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09-07-2012 13:51 by
Marshall the Great
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The purpose of this status is to let you know that I have nothing to say, but that's not gonna stop me from saying it....
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09-07-2012 13:50 by
Marshall the Great
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I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
110
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09-05-2012 16:01 by
Marshall the Great
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Be yourself, you already have the costume.
37
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09-05-2012 13:43 by
Marshall the Great
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I dreamed I had sex with my ex last night. I swear she ruins everything.
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09-04-2012 13:27 by
Marshall the Great
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Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
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09-04-2012 13:09 by
Marshall the Great
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All women have at least one pair of jeans in their closet that's trying to kill them.
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09-04-2012 13:05 by
Marshall the Great
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Why don't television shows say, "You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?"
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09-04-2012 13:02 by
Marshall the Great
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You know what's worse than your tribal tattoo? The story about why you got it.
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09-04-2012 12:59 by
Marshall the Great
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After a long weekend without your phone, you learn what's really important in life. Your phone.
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09-04-2012 12:56 by
Marshall the Great
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Naked breakfast on the couch watching my shows. Gangsta's paradise.
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09-04-2012 12:51 by
Marshall the Great
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When someone calls shotgun I yell Rosa Parks and sit in the seat and refuse to move.
84
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09-04-2012 12:49 by
Marshall the Great
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Waking up this morning was a stupid idea.
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09-04-2012 12:48 by
Marshall the Great
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If I had a nickel for every time I banged your mom I could afford to bang her again today.
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09-03-2012 23:35 by
Marshall the Great
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People posting... "Damn it's September already?" What TF you thought came after August?! August Jr?
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09-03-2012 23:35 by
Marshall the Great
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You gotta text her goodnight if she special. The other women just get the "oh my bad I fell asleep" text in the morning.
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09-03-2012 00:57 by
Marshall the Great
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