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Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen.
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09-01-2016 08:49 by
SEAN
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Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver.
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09-01-2016 08:48 by
SEAN
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I hate those people who ride your bumper and then start flashing their lights at you. Like, Hey- look at me, I’m driving an ambulance.........
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09-01-2016 08:47 by
SEAN
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In hell, your coworker never finishes opening a wrapper.
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09-01-2016 08:46 by
SEAN
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I put some doughnuts, ice cream, and snickers bars in my blender for dessert tonight, so yeah-I juice.
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09-01-2016 08:45 by
SEAN
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I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.
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09-01-2016 08:45 by
SEAN
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Life Hack: Send your boss an email that says " Suck my A$$" and you wont have to go to work the next.
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07-14-2016 15:13 by
SEAN
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About a year ago I told my friend there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Last I heard he is still sitting there holding his rod.
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07-08-2016 10:08 by
SEAN
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It’s bad enough when the little voices in my head talk to me. But now they are texting.
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07-08-2016 10:02 by
SEAN
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I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
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07-08-2016 10:00 by
SEAN
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The wife was bragging about being a multi-tasker last night, I said " O yeah, why can’t you have a headache and sex at the same time?”......
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07-08-2016 09:11 by
SEAN
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I was reading that dogs can successfully sniff out cancer in humans. Now I’m worried that I’ve got testicular cancer.
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07-08-2016 09:07 by
SEAN
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The worst thing about spanking a disobedient child in the supermarket is having absolutely no idea who’s child it is.
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07-08-2016 08:51 by
SEAN
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Saw a sign in the bus station today, it said ‘One bus takes 35 cars off the road’ personally I think it depends how aggressive the driver is…
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07-08-2016 08:01 by
SEAN
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So the presidential election is between a grandma who can't figure out her email and a grandpa who believes every spam he receives? Great.
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07-06-2016 15:24 by
SEAN
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I used to dream of that fairytale kind of love. Now I'll settle for someone who'll gain weight faster than me.
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07-06-2016 15:23 by
SEAN
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Urinating on a jelly fish sting helps the pain. Urinating on a bee sting just makes your neighbor angry.
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07-06-2016 15:23 by
SEAN
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Started to wear a wig at the gym so everyone thinks I am strong for a girl.
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07-06-2016 15:22 by
SEAN
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I am fed up with all these incest jokes about us Kentuckians. It's offensive to me as well as Uncle Dad.
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07-06-2016 15:21 by
SEAN
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"According to a new poll, Hillary Clinton has lost a third of her supporters since May. There's still debate as to whether she lost them or just deleted them from her database.
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07-06-2016 15:17 by
SEAN
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