mickeybruce Funny Status Messages

   ok, so what do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh!

   "Oprah tips homeless dude $100" ...20 min. later, homeless dude's crack dealer: "where you get the Benjamin, homie?"

   Obama went to India, Indonesia, South Korea... and still hasn't found the birth certificate??

   if being apathetic is wrong, then I don't care...

   wtf? why is Obama meeting with Indians? Thanksgiving is still 3 weeks away!

   just heard the villian in the next Batman movie is a guy who's exposed to high levels of radiation and becomes the Speaker of the House of Representatives

   money isn't the key to happiness? then where is the key? hidden in a stupid box somewhere, like in Pirates Of The Caribbean?

   Breaking News... President Obama travels to India to visit former American jobs...

   converted my dishwasher into a snowblower: bought the wife a new snow shovel for her birthday!

   just looked at Yahoo! Trending Now: Brett Favre and Britney Spears right next to each other. Uh-oh. This could get out of hand in a hurry...

   ...this year in California, the most popular Halloween mask is Arnold Schwartzenegger. The great thing about it is: with a mouthful of candy, you'll sound just like him!

   if you're dressing up like Snooki tonight, allow me to help by rubbing Doritos all over you first ;)

   yo, people that drive 10 mph under the speed limit 'cuz there's a cop behind you. stop it. you ain't gettin' free donuts or anything...

   [:::] is trick-or-treating for Pop Tarts [:::]

   ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.

   ...the monkey's out of the bottle, man.

   EVERYBODY: [1] HAVE FUN TONIGHT. [2] WANG CHUNG TONIGHT.

   ...roses are red, violets are blue, I'm doing my laundry so I don't smell like you.

   ...Dear Katy Perry: there were girls around with nice boobs before you were born. there will be girls around with nice boobs after you die. get over yourself, please.

   ...thinks animal testing is a terrible idea. they get all nervous and give the wrong answers anyway