g0re Funny Status Messages

   GF: Babe what are you doing?? BF:Nothing much, really tired just going to sleep now hunny and you sweetheart ? GF:In the club standing right behind you

   People think i'm shy because I don't talk or participate much in conversations. The truth is I don't really give a f*ck what they're talking about.

   If you are living your life without giving an "f", You are living a li[ ]e .

   Without that little voice in your head you wouldn't be able to read this.

   Only 12 % of the earths population can solve this in 30 seconds. Say the 0pposite of these words: 1) always 2) coming 3) from 4) take 5) me 6) down

   Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..

   Right now your holding your phone in your right hand, having your 3 fingers behind, your pinky on the bottom & scrolling down with your thumb! :)

   Im gonna laugh when the day comes when our generation is saying "You spoiled little brats! All we had in our day was Xbox's, PS3's, iphones, flat-screen tv's & laptops, you ungrateful little sh!t"

   your not drunk till you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth

   TEACHER: what is the opposite of laughing? STUDENT: fu*king... TEACHER: why is that? STUDENT: well laughing is Ha Ha Ha and fu*king is Ah Ah Ah ....

   What did one ocean say to the other ocean?...Nothing they just waved...Do you SEA what I did there?...I'm SHORE you did, BEACH.

   HAVE YOU FOUND A REAL JOB YET?!!!!! no,i've been searching for a FAKE job that'll pay me FAKE money,to pay all my FAKE bills off,so when I retire,i can move to a FAKE retiree home in florida.

   Dear Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas except for the person reading this to have an amazing Christmas.

   "I didnt do it..." "Then why are you laughing?" "Cause whoever did it is a f*cking genius!"

   "You will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory" - Spongebob

   Santa is an unfair a$shole, He gives the more expensive gifts to the wealthier kids!

   Life is like a pen!s. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard.

   My math teacher staples Burger King applications on failed tests.

   How do you keep a blonde occupied for a few hours? Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.

   That akward moment when you don't really like your crush. You like the imaginary version of them which you created in your head.