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Autobots Roll Out, we are under attract by the evil Deltacron, leader of the Decepticons! 
Amy Schneider is a biological male. The swimmer from Penn State is a biological male. They should not be given records that were previously relegated to the ranks of biological females.
To All Those Who Received a Book from Me as a Christmas Present....They are Due Back at the Library Today
I just read that they're not making rulers any longer.
Changed all my passwords to "Kenny." Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Wouldn't it be funny to secretly place a sex toy in someone else's yard sale then stand back and watch the reactions.
looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
Can I borrow...Nope You got...Nope Can you let me...Nope Just practicing for 2022👌🤣
How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?
My wife's doctor called and I had to take a message. He said her Pabst Beer came back negative. What the hell is he talking about?
The processor in my smart phone is 120,000,000 times faster than the computer aboard Apollo 11. They went to the moon, I play Clash of Clans and watch videos of funny cats flushing toilets.
Everyone over here doing the 10 year challenge while metaverse is doing the facial recognition challenge.
I'm looking for 11,780 point for my sports team because I know in my heart they won.
The world is just 1 Keith Richards death away from imploding
You'd be surprised at how quick Home depot employees help you after ignoring you for 20 minutes when you try to start a chainsaw...
Yeah, I like the seasons too. That's why I live in a place that skips the nasty ones.
helped my neighbor with something this morning and she said to me "I could marry you!" I couldn't believe it... you do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return...
YouTube video: "How to stop procrastinating." Me: [Add to Watch Later]
Me: I'm not getting the Covid vaccine because I don't know what is in it. Also me: Ooooooo..... The McRib is back!
Hello welcome to marriage anonymous." Hi, I'm Todd. It's been 12 years since my last decision. I had an independent thought yesterday that I almost said aloud but I called my sponsor and we talked through it & I stayed quiet!" 