Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Autobots Roll Out, we are under attract by the evil Deltacron, leader of the Decepticons!
←Rate | 01-09-2022 20:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amy Schneider is a biological male. The swimmer from Penn State is a biological male. They should not be given records that were previously relegated to the ranks of biological females.
←Rate | 01-09-2022 10:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To All Those Who Received a Book from Me as a Christmas Present....They are Due Back at the Library Today
←Rate | 01-09-2022 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read that they're not making rulers any longer.
←Rate | 01-08-2022 12:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Changed all my passwords to "Kenny." Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
←Rate | 01-08-2022 09:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wouldn't it be funny to secretly place a sex toy in someone else's yard sale then stand back and watch the reactions.
←Rate | 01-07-2022 21:14 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
←Rate | 01-07-2022 14:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can I borrow...Nope You got...Nope Can you let me...Nope Just practicing for 2022👌🤣
←Rate | 01-07-2022 10:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?
←Rate | 01-06-2022 13:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife's doctor called and I had to take a message. He said her Pabst Beer came back negative. What the hell is he talking about?
←Rate | 01-06-2022 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The processor in my smart phone is 120,000,000 times faster than the computer aboard Apollo 11. They went to the moon, I play Clash of Clans and watch videos of funny cats flushing toilets.
←Rate | 01-05-2022 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone over here doing the 10 year challenge while metaverse is doing the facial recognition challenge.
←Rate | 01-05-2022 21:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm looking for 11,780 point for my sports team because I know in my heart they won.
←Rate | 01-05-2022 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The world is just 1 Keith Richards death away from imploding
←Rate | 01-05-2022 09:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'd be surprised at how quick Home depot employees help you after ignoring you for 20 minutes when you try to start a chainsaw...
←Rate | 01-05-2022 09:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, I like the seasons too. That's why I live in a place that skips the nasty ones.
←Rate | 01-05-2022 09:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon helped my neighbor with something this morning and she said to me "I could marry you!" I couldn't believe it... you do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return...
←Rate | 01-05-2022 08:13 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon YouTube video: "How to stop procrastinating." Me: [Add to Watch Later]
←Rate | 01-04-2022 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: I'm not getting the Covid vaccine because I don't know what is in it. Also me: Ooooooo..... The McRib is back!
←Rate | 01-04-2022 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello welcome to marriage anonymous." Hi, I'm Todd. It's been 12 years since my last decision. I had an independent thought yesterday that I almost said aloud but I called my sponsor and we talked through it & I stayed quiet!"
←Rate | 01-04-2022 14:27 by @ttmichael09 Comments (0)  



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