lemonpillow Funny Status Messages

   ..is off to spend some quality time with her gf. Be back in two minutes! :-)

   In just two days, tomor­row will be yes­ter­day!

   Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

   It may look like i'm doing nothing but at the cellular level i'm actually quite busy.

   So it's mothers day and I had trouble deciding what to get my mother-in-law I couldn't choose between a Toyota Prius or a holiday in Haiti, so eventually I plumped for luging lessons in Vancouver.

   Why did God create man? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

   Spent the whole day checking items off my task list. In retrospect, I probably should have used that time to complete tasks

   Copywight 2010 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

   The other day I threw a boomerang at a ghost. I knew it would come back to haunt me.

   Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in awhile,nine out of ten people would have nothing to talk about.

   Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

   Morning without coffee is like sleep.

   Procrastination has it's good side. You always have something to do tomorrow.

   Every once in a brownish-purple moon, I worry that I might be colorblind.

   Keep smiling. But not to the point where people begin to think you're mentally unbalanced.

   My laziness is becoming such a issue that I can't even be bothered hanging my clothes on my treadmill anymore

   When I said "I wanted to be held" I didn't mean "by the Authorities".

   If you need space then work at NASA.

   Naomi Campbell should take up golf because she's really good at hitting the driver.