g0re Funny Status Messages

   I'd like to live forever, if only cuz I am curious as to how the course of human history will play out: the probably drastically new technology in the far future, the rise and fall of new countries development of government, humans rights, literature, etc

   You know you need sleep when you feel drunk without having actually had any alcohol.

   Ugly People: There's only so much that photoshop can do.

   Female gamers need to get off their high horse. There are a million girls who like gaming, and it doesn't make them "special" or "cool". It just makes them a girl who happens to like video games.

   Guys: boobs are like Wendy's; "You know when it's real,"

   I'm pretty sure Dora the Explorer is teaching kids the wrong idea, because I tried rapist no raping the other day…. It didn't go well.

   There's that moment of awesome when you get an A on the test... and then you realize you were given someone elses' test...

   It sucks when you make a really awesome post but then someone steals your glory with an even better comment.

   You know when you have to wash the dishes when you are eating salad out of a coffee cup.

   Dreams: are always getting to the best part, and then you wake up.

   Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you're not a loser and are worth a little more than crap.

   Because of the constant rubbing of tectonic plates, the earth has volcanic ejaculations.

   When someone posts pictures of a dance or something, you always look through them to see if you are in the background.

   When you're driving illegally, suddenly every car is an undercover cop.

   Girls just want to have funds.

   Moving to Google+ after a facebook change is like moving to Canada after an election. Noone actually goes through with it, and even if you did, you wouldn't have any friends when you get there.

   Checking In' on Facebook Places is really just another way of people showing other people how much better their day is/was than yours.

   Cookie Monster has probably kidnapped a ton of girl scouts.

   Guys: When you're watching your friend play a single player game, you secretly hope they die.

   Bus drivers inwardly laugh at you when they drop you off in the rain.