g0re Funny Status Messages

   Relationships aren't tests, so why cheat?

   It seems that nowadays people just add random symbols or letters after a colon and call it an emoticon. Like really? What the hell does :H mean.

   Alot of commercials nowadays are just knock offs of the Oldspice commercials with a very dramatic main character and a suprising plot twist at the end.

   Due to the retarded faces some girls like to make and the fact that it's become cool to be a jerk, nowadays, instead of duck, duck, goose, all you see in pictures is duck, duck, douche.

   It sucks when the trailer makes a movie seem funny but when you watch it you realize that literally all the funny parts were just in the trailer.

   Pouring the last bowlful of Lucky Charms from its box and finding no marshmallows is like pouring a bowlful of sadness.

   As awesome as it would be, sadly the state farm jingle does not work for you unless you are doing a commercial :(

   What's sad is that December 22, 2012 falls on a Saturday, so you can't go to school and say "Oh, I thought we were all going to die, so I didn't do my homework".

   Sometimes girls try too hard for boys that dont even care....its kinda sad...girls nowadays are losing their self-respect...

   It's so sad how some people only see the world as something to put on a resume or college application.

   The only difference between me and much of the rest of the world is that I admit I'm crazy, whereas they are in denial.

   Let's face it ladies, if men walked around with b0ners you'd stare at them too.

   Dear ladies: We are not that hard to find. We are in the friend zone, right where you left us. Sincerely, The nice guys.

   Why do ladies spend so much anger on The Other Woman? They should really be more infuriated with their cheating lover.

   It's nice when someone can reply to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended.

   Women are like condoms; if they're not on your d!ck, they're in your wallet.

   Realizing that you aren't that smart after all is a sign of maturity.

   You can never think of any changes or improvements to your essay until AFTER you print it out.

   easy but criticizing gently on it shows the mark of a sensible personality.

   Hallmark movies give un-attractive, single girls false hope.