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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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It's really funny to see a cat fall off a bed, til it grabs your leg.
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11-14-2012 20:33 by
Marshall the Great
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When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail.
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11-14-2012 02:00 by
Marshall the Great
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if you have a job where you have to wear a nametag, nobody gives a sh!t what your name is.
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11-14-2012 02:00 by
Marshall the Great
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If I could choose between world peace and a reasonable fortune, my first Lambo would be red.
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11-13-2012 16:52 by
Marshall the Great
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I don't care how hot she is, dumb is not sexy.
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11-13-2012 16:49 by
Marshall the Great
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It's drizzy outside, expect a Lil Wayne.
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11-13-2012 16:48 by
Marshall the Great
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Hey, do you have change for a $20? $20's are change, bro.
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11-13-2012 16:47 by
Marshall the Great
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Can we please stop calling them 'hipsters' and go back to calling them 'pu$$ies?'
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11-13-2012 16:43 by
Marshall the Great
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Listening to Obama talk about the economy is like listening to a chick talk about football.
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11-13-2012 16:38 by
Marshall the Great
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A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherf*cker.
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11-13-2012 16:38 by
Marshall the Great
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I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
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11-05-2012 20:40 by
Marshall the Great
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My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
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11-05-2012 20:35 by
Marshall the Great
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Often we fail to appreciate those closest to us... Soooo, go waaaaaaaay over there, I would appreciate it...
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11-05-2012 17:05 by
Marshall the Great
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Police have reported that Tony the Tiger and the Captain Crunch have been murdered. A police spokesman said it could be the work of a cereal killer.
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11-05-2012 17:01 by
Marshall the Great
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If the neighbors don't know your name, you're not f*cking your woman right...
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11-05-2012 16:45 by
Marshall the Great
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If you've never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you've never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
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11-05-2012 16:39 by
Marshall the Great
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If you're looking for a girl, here is what to look for: 1) HOT 2) SANE 3) SINGLE ... now pick two
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11-05-2012 16:26 by
Marshall the Great
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The only people who get offended are hypocrites. And I'm happy to make them uncomfortable...
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11-05-2012 16:19 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm so poor this week that if someone were to try to rob me they would laugh and give me money.
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11-05-2012 16:18 by
Marshall the Great
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Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.
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11-05-2012 16:16 by
Marshall the Great
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