jcgj Funny Status Messages

   Beedo Boop Bop Beeda Beep Boop Lop Bleeda Bee eezz ... you've got mail !!

   I swear I can feel my brain buffering.

   How am I supposed to explain Daylight Savings Time to my neighbors dog?

   Lotto Max is up to a full tank of gas and a buggy load of groceries.

   I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss. 😁

   Don't honk at me asshole, I'm not on my phone. I missed the light change because I was trying to get that last french fry at the bottom of the box. 🍟 😒

   Maaaaay The 4th Be With You

   With you, may the fourth be — Yoda

   Strong with this fourth day of may, the force is — Yoda

   Word on the street is, Cookie Monster has tested positive for COVID. It's the Om nom nom nomicron variant.

   We used to be young and carefree, and now we have a favorite cashier at the grocery store.

   Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! It's off to sleep I go. I'll crawl in bed and rest my head. Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho!

   Ah, Easter. That lovely time of year that reminds you to take down the Christmas decorations.

   🎶 I got in one little fight and my mum got scared, 🎶 she said You can't slap Chris Rock because your wife has no hair.

   I miss the days when people’s biggest concern was Marilyn Manson.

   The “thank you wave”👋🏼 after letting someone merge their car in front of yours is the one thing holding this fragile society together.

   Does anyone know where I can get more Lite-Brite pegs?... I'm trying to finish my Will and Testament.

   Fun Fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, "Marco" and then an even fainter, "Polo."

   Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self-centered lives already in progress.

   Judge: "how do you plead?" Me: "your honor I plead oopsie daisies."