bob Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Substitute " My ass" for "This girls" on fire and you're welcome Preparation H for your new ad campaign.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 05:58 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't know who's happier, the gay community or the ABA
←Rate | 06-28-2015 07:45 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since casino commercials abruptly end with "gambling problem, call 1-800gambler"......why don't booze commercials end with "drinking problem, call 1-800guzzler" ?
←Rate | 05-19-2015 06:06 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Made a deposit at the Sperm Bank....sadly, it's earning no interest.
←Rate | 04-05-2015 09:04 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're a woman that plans on visiting Halas Hall later this year, I suggest you use the stairs
←Rate | 03-27-2015 05:36 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon great news for those that talk $hit....PREPARATION H is now available as a chapstick!!
←Rate | 03-21-2015 09:15 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lindsey Vonn starts at the top and ends up on the bottom.....so, apparently, does Tiger
←Rate | 02-02-2015 04:55 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but names will never hurt me....simple advice to Islamic extremist, but it's hard to reason will those that believe there's a bevy of virgins waiting for them upon death
←Rate | 01-18-2015 08:40 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some dude is going to be eaten alive by an Anaconda tonite....BIG DEAL...I was eaten alive by a snake years ago and my lawyer got me out. Sucked dry, but free.
←Rate | 12-07-2014 16:49 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon For one to describe oneself as monosyllabic would be an oxymoron.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 06:29 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with those lower urinals? Are they for small boys or large men?
←Rate | 04-06-2014 07:02 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only got one valentine card, and that was from the wife. I say valentine card, it was actually a death threat. still it's the thought that counts
←Rate | 02-14-2014 10:53 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it with those female athletes, freezing temps and they wear them thin skin tight lycra suits, my wife wears more than that in a warm bed
←Rate | 02-13-2014 10:58 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a call from the post office, can they start delivering some of my cards now, they're running out of room in their sorting office
←Rate | 02-13-2014 10:53 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mother Nature: Get off the Vortex aleready.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 17:08 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm single by choice...Not my choice, but it's still a choice.
←Rate | 01-06-2014 04:07 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Crap! Still here! Better schedule that colonoscopy,
←Rate | 12-21-2012 18:36 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the world ends tomorrow, I hope it is after 5:00 pm, because I won't get paid for the holiday if I don't work Friday.
←Rate | 12-20-2012 04:54 by BOB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear world, please don't end till after after my four day weekend is complete. Thank you.
←Rate | 12-20-2012 04:35 by BOB Comments (0)  


   messageicon destructive forces have hit the Gulf Coast! Oh, and a hurricane sweeped by.
←Rate | 08-28-2012 05:47 by Bob Comments (0)  


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