anonymous Funny Status Messages

   stuck in the moment and he can't get out of it...

   wouldnt be caught dead with a necrophiliac!

   believes that just thinking about acupuncture is pointless.

   "kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken!"

   calculating the square root of tomorrow

   not gaining weight, he's retaining food!

   browsing tube8.com... Haha! I know you will open it.

   went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

   a date with 2 Girls from 1 Cup

   running around robbing banks all wacked on the scooby snacks..!!

   When I was a kid I used to trick the tooth fairy with kidney stones

   Something you never hear in the news: "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North."

   Shouldn't the fortune in every fortune cookie be "You are about to eat a stale cookie?"

   text from a female: "Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless."

   Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big titties

   having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not hanging around with Damon The Infidel

   never killed a man that didn't need killing.

   When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

   A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Share' button.

   took the "What should you be doing right now" quiz. And the answer is... WORK !