Jackbrass Funny Status Messages

   People have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and pinning the tail on the donkey – but I bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, every time.

   Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

   How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

   The only rime I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish sendkng a text.

   I love how my laptopshasta a warning that says You should change your battery or switch to outlet power immediately to keep from losing your work. Lol "work". I wish I got paid to watch porn..

   6 family members had a birthday this month and thanks to Facebook I knew that this year.

   I hate my ducking iPhone, why the he'll won the son of a botch let me ducking swear? This is passing me off!

   People should stop arguing about ps3 and. Xbox. We all know the best system is was and always will be the nintendo 64!

   The only way I would honestly be able to say you are "hot" is if you were set on fire.

   Ah April 20th, the day the word dude was born.

   I'm ecstatic about this radioactive wind, this is my closest chance to get those superpowers I always wanted. Thanks japan!