Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages

   I hate when I accidently run my hand over a piece of gum stuck under a desk!

   I wonder how long it takes a girrafe to vomit!

   Dogs don't care if Bacon is crispy or not!

   When the teacher says you'll be working with partners then adds ''But I'll be assigning them!''

   16 and a Olympian > 16 and Pregnent

   3AM text message ''Hey are you asleep?''....''No I'm scuba diving!''

   Dude, I gave you a pen not a chew toy!

   $19.99 because $20 is an outrageous amount of money!

   Dude, she has a Boyfriend! So, soccer has a goalie doesn't mean you can't still score!

   If my Boobs sag any more people are going to think they are nuts!

   Daughter''Dad I am a lesbian!'' Sister ''Me too dad!'' Dad ''Doesn't anyone like guys around here?'' Son ''I do!''

   hahahahahahahahaha=very funy hahahahaha=funny haha=not that funny

   1 tequila, 2 tequila,s 3 tequiklas, 4 teuiqlas, 5 teiuqlsd, 6 teiqulkss, 7 eteiqlas, 8 treqiklasl, 9 travquikas, 10 trewquwtss

   I hope Adele and Eminem never date, can you imagine what their breakup albums would be like!

   Listen I'm not an alcoholic, they go to meetings...I'm a drunk we go to parties!

   Nothing says ''I'm a fat a$$ like wearing a T-shirt in the pool!

   When you break something at the store and nervously walk away!

   I decorated my bedroom to look like a classroom so I can fall asleep faster!

   I'm sex..unattractive and I know it!

   It's not flirting it's being extra nice to someone extra attractive!