g0re Funny Status Messages

   It would be amazing if all restaurants had to end their URLs with ".nom"

   Come on proactiv, don't lie, its not a limited time offer, you've ALWAYS been $19.99.

   I hate it when you're trying to watch proactive commercials but MTV shows keep interrupting.

   Pac-Man teaches us a valuable lesson Eat everything you can, and if anyone tries to stop you, eat them.

   It makes you worried for the future when you see all the insecure girls on Facebook posting their pictures as their statu$ and begging for likes.

   It's silly when people say that you shouldn't like them "because they might hurt you." Everyone is going to hurt you. Some people are just worth the risk.

   The next time the hostess asks you "Would you like a table?", you should respond "No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."

   Sometimes its better to forget about making people happy and just do what YOU really want to do.

   Girls spend too much time trying to look nice and not enough time trying to act nice.

   The next time the hostess asks you respond "No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."

   Sometimes you sit in class and listen to the conversations around you and realize you are the smartest person in the room.

   The show "19 Kids and Counting" could easily be renamed "People Hoarders".

   There's a new unit of measure which measures 72 days - a Kardash.

   Be a lady's man, not a ladies man.

   Candy companies need to learn that making a candy bar and eighth of its original size does not make it "fun sized," it just makes more wrappers to throw away.

   A good drinking game; watch Wheel of Fortune and do a shot for every time they applause.

   I've seen 4 people go from "in a relationship" to "single" today...yep, it's definitely no shave November.

   Basketball players took the phrase"grow up" too literally.

   Snooki's like a basketball: Orange and passed around by a bunch of sweaty guys.

   It's kinda sad that 98% of the population can only correctly use a semicolon if they're trying to digitally wink at somebody.