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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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Page: 118 of 134
I sure hopes they're wrong about the world ending in 2012. I'd hate to think I wasted the last couple years of my life on Facebook with you guys ;)
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05-11-2011 22:03 by
Marshall the Great
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When your car is so crappy that your music makes it rattle like someone shaking a toaster, it's either time for a new car or to TURN THE CRAP DOWN.
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05-11-2011 10:43 by
Marshall the Great
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I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends.
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05-11-2011 10:33 by
Marshall the Great
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WTF are birds so amped up about at 5:30 in the morning?
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05-10-2011 16:08 by
Marshall the Great
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This alcohol diet is freaking awesome, I've already lost 3 days.
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05-10-2011 16:02 by
Marshall the Great
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My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn't illegal to talk in the car while I'm driving.
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05-09-2011 12:41 by
Marshall the Great
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If my erection lasts longer than four hours, SHE's the one who's going to need to see a doctor
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05-04-2011 16:23 by
Marshall the Great
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I love you so much that there's almost no chance I'd use you as a human shield against a Navy SEAL'S attack.
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05-04-2011 16:20 by
Marshall the Great
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It feels like my entire generation can be summed up in six words from a Nirvana song: Here we are now, entertain us.
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05-04-2011 16:19 by
Marshall the Great
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You remind me of those kids in elementary school who would put their mouth against the faucet when drinking out of the water fountain.
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05-04-2011 16:17 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
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05-04-2011 16:15 by
Marshall the Great
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I said "Just gimme the usual" to the waitress at a restaurant I've never been to. And now I wait...
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05-04-2011 16:14 by
Marshall the Great
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I will never be too old to enjoy driving by a stranger, honking, and waving just to see the confused look on their face and awkward wave back.
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05-03-2011 11:51 by
Marshall the Great
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Regardless of whether or not I should know better, I thought we had already established that no, I do not.
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05-03-2011 11:50 by
Marshall the Great
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Jim Morrison was right: People ARE strange.
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05-03-2011 11:49 by
Marshall the Great
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Because of cell phones, kids today will never know what it's like to choke their friends with a phone cord.
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05-03-2011 11:42 by
Marshall the Great
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So the NSA will stop molesting me at the airport now, right?
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05-03-2011 00:06 by
Marshall the Great
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...and thats how the U.S. outdoes a Royal Wedding.
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05-03-2011 00:03 by
Marshall the Great
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You are not essential for my survival so adjust your actions accordingly.
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05-03-2011 00:01 by
Marshall the Great
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No I did not watch the Royal wedding! What's the big deal? Two things kept me from watching it. They're called tesicles.
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05-02-2011 23:52 by
Marshall the Great
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