g0re Funny Status Messages

   Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first.

   It's one of life's cruel tricks that by the time you're old enough to afford a flashy sports car, you look ridiculous driving it.

   It sucks to live in the shadow of your older brother or sister. Imagine if Jesus Christ had a little brother or sister. How do you live up to THAT?

   It takes a brave man to admit he's wrong. It takes a braver man to not delete the original comment.

   Life's not a b!tch, life's a beautiful woman. You just call her a b!tch cause she wont let you get what you want,

   When people say they "live their life" it usually just means "party hard." It doesn't mean "learn a lot about stuff that interests you", "volunteer to help people less fortunate than you", or "enjoy the benefits of a good night of sleep."

   Nobody likes the guy who stands in the corner of the elevator, hoarding the buttons. Then he asks; what floor? And he smiles, like he's doing you a favor. I WANNA HIT THE BUTTON.

   When you think about it, Hitler really wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.

   Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?

   There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator

   Gentlemen, for the next 2-3 weeks the best pick up line at any bar is, "What's Call of Duty?" You can thank me at the bachelor party.

   Teens: being tired is one of your personality traits.

   Some people look at a mousetrap and just see a trap for a mouse. Some of us look and see free cheese and a challenge.

   Dreams are just fanfictions of your life written by your brain.

   Lazy rule number 42: If it isn't on the first page of Google, it doesn't exist.

   A smart person realizes how stupid everyone else is and gets depressed. A very smart person realizes how stupid everyone else is and gets rich.

   It is important to be thankful for little things in life. Like the fact that the world doesn't make a strange creaking noise when it rotates on its axis.

   Girls: If a guy wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC. You're a lady, not a cheap value meal.

   In the end, girls really just want one thing from guys, all of our hoodies.

   My dad never loved me as a child, you can't really blame him though I wasn't born until he was an adult.