Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Women...why is it so hard to F-in fill the gas tank? The E doesn't stand for ENOUGH!!

   Even though my house has an alarm, I still like to set booby traps...just in case.

   I find it hard to sing the Beach Boys without using my "girl" voice.

   What a great world it would be, if the only complaint was bugs on the windshield.

   You know you've made a serious vocational error, if you're covered in blood, crap, or oil by 6am.

   Today's irony: listening to Skynard's "That smell" as I'm driving by Harris Beefs stockyard.

   To the makers of fruitroll-ups: when I enjoy your deliciousness, I mess up the touchscreen on my smartphone. Work on that please...

   Admits he chooses a Presidedntial Canidate on the basis that they resemble someone on the cast of Saturday Nite Live.

   You can tell a lot about a person by how many times they hit re-fresh...

   We can get a man to the moon, but somehow we can't manufacture the head of a car wash broom to stay on....

   To the redheaded guy on CSI Miami...you're not Clint Eastwood so knock it off!!!

   A good box of wine will turn any ordinary meal into an extraordinary meal.

   Every thing I know about politics, I learned from School House Rocks.

   Just got pulled over for going 73mph in a 55mph. After the 20 min lecture the Officer said he was giving me a warning as he handed me a slip to sign... I looked at him puzzled so he says "April Fools!"...jerk

   If you find out your guest has no toilet paper from the other side of the door, you have FAILED as a host.

   Boba Fett was an embarrassment to us all- Dog the Bounty Hunter

   I take an on ramp to the freeway as if I'm heading to the checkered flag...wish everyone else did!!

   After reflecting back on the movie Young Guns, I would say Charlie Sheen finally made it to the "spirit world"

   Wow, just drove by the gas station and the guy changing prices has a chair camping out...no good can come of this!!

   Dear Employer, I have worked insane amounts of hours for you; shed blood; even went through a divorce because of you. Is it too much to ask for some decent toilet paper up in here?