oregon Funny Status Messages

   Weekly I confine my exercises to jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth and pushing my luck. I have already lost at least 3 friends....

   BREAKING NEWS: The Groundhog is wanted in 25 states stretching from the east coast!~

   A couple got married at a Mental Institution recently ..kind of crazy?

   When are Levi's going away with "Shrink to Fit jeans" to my style..."Stretched to Fit"?

   BORED so Pretending to water my fake plants.....

   Do you think America will get so LAZY that we will have "Spray on pants."

   I have the new Weight Watchers fridge...At midnight my fridge no longer lights up inside. My Flashlight is also out of batteries!~~THE END TO MIDNIGHT SNACKS!~

   I miss the old days when everyone had the same RING tone.

   To see my family over the holidays I have an appointment book. Just so there is no fender benders.......

   Hey let me give a gift that will take a week to put together. I have included the manual and a DVD....Have Fun

   I will put my phone down when you put yours down....Ready set.....Wait Someone is calling

   Easter this Sunday....The one day where I can say "I am putting all my EGGS in one basket!

   The moon is so red tonight......oh wait my eyes are just blood shot....

   I am convinced that Kellogg's works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......

   People that look through other peoples medicine cabinets? WEIRD!~~ I would like to look through their fridge.

   Some days for me it's like I start off making an omelette but in the end it all ends up scrambled eggs......

   Just anounced if you own a MAC you can now access the Obamacare website

   There is a new Flu Shot for the Window 8 computers

   Personal Foul......Holding.......and Unsportsmanlike Conduct Sorry I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."

   If our Government shuts down how much Electricity will we save?