NO BODY Funny Status Messages

   Lets Be Honest, slow internet, is worse than bad sex.

   I get re-pissed about an old situation whenever I have a flashback about it.

   At school we learn that the sun rises in the east but in fact, the sun neither rises nor sets. Only earth rotates. Education spoils our common sense sometimes.

   The Asian B0ner -> Often Mistaken For a Third N!pple.

   Don't waste your time worrying about a piece of sh*t that's not worried about you.

   Somewhere in the world, some stripper is still claiming she is paying her way through college ten years and no degree later.

   Ladies: When a guy adds you on FB, it means he just wants to be your friend not your HUSBAND, that's why it's called a friend request not a Proposal!

   Before asking someone why they hate you, slap and ask yourself why you even care.

   facebook messing up your relationship??? well dial this number 1~800~LOG OFF!

   Ladies: Having a male friend is a lot like having a pet tiger. Sure its fun in theory, but you're always waiting for the day it turns on you.

   Single? No, I'm just in a relationship with freedom.

   No strings attached, your love is so wi-fi

   Catch her coming out the bathroom from that morning shower and give her a reason to go back in and take another one

   Nobody is perfect, but don't use that excuse to cover up your mistakes and stupidity.

   Some people just don't get it. If you're not happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. GET A LIFE FIRST then try to share it

   If you watch the looting videos in reverse, they are really generous people

   Nobody is worth feeling like sh*t for, if they are not bringing you up, then drop their a$$ and stop letting them drag you down.

   You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Sincerely, banana

   I take very morning that I am able to open my eyes and wake up as another opportunity God has given me to be a better person than I was yesterday.

   She has a Masters degree in lying but I have a PhD in recognizing bullsh*t.