Missy Funny Status Messages

   Our society views heroine and alcohol overdose as a tragic accident, I call that suicide accomplished...

   Relationships are for two people, but some people just don't know how to count...

   Pregnancy- The number 1 cause of arranged marriages

   You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring.

   Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes sex drive by 95% - it's called Wedding Cake

   If I had a cooking show, it would be called Do You Smell Something Burning?

   I am willing to promise my kids anything just so they go away for a while. I learned that trick from the government.

   Got fired from my job as a bingo caller... apparently "A meal for two with a terrible view" was a pathetic way to announce the number 69.

   "I LOVE getting up this early!" - Nobody

   I'm not really marriage material... since I still have hopes and dreams.

   Misunderstandings happen when one person is clearly stupid.

   Despite the cost of living, it's still popular!

   Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are

   S.I.N.G.L.E. = (S)tress (I)s (N)ow (G)one (L)ife's (E)asier

   "WANTED" - Meaningful Overnight Relationship, please inbox for details......

   A guy fills his Blow-up doll with Helium by accident. Now the b*tch is playing hard to get

   I'm great in bed, I can sleep for days!

   torn between the options of a two hour walk or a two hour bath...

   Hopes her status is now fixed so she can back to her false reality that she is popular;)

   "I just want to sit on your Face" ~ is that being to forward?