Fat Alec Funny Status Messages

   If you hear a guy order a Pumpkin Spiced Latte go ahead and steal his wallet. Trust me, he's not gonna do anything about it.

   Ever notice that our President's initials are B.O. makes sense because he stinks

   Now that one Kim is gone, Kardashian can go too

   =+(:) <--- stewie griffin

   it weird that we eat dead things to stay alive?

   One day I wanna copy someone's status word for word and see if they notice.

   not every pony grows up to be a Pegasus

   Kim K is single again and the McRib is back... Black men are having the best week of their lives.

   It is hard to pull off gangster with a toy poodle sitting in your lap.

   Hey east coast, California speaking. Hope you enjoyed our earthquakes:)

   I'm not that vain, but that song is about me.

   if your blonde and attractive... stay away from Aruba

   Happy 8-9-10 day, now make this day count. (little number humor. haha)

   Type 2204355 and hit I'm feeling lucky in google... worth it

   Deer Jesse James, Thank You. From, Tiger Woods

   Did I study? Nah. Did I buy a fancy pencil? You better beleive it.

   Costco: Go hungry leave happy

   A. Drunk B. Sober C. High D. All of the above

   like Doug's friends Skeeter whenever I meet her cuz I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise!

   thankfully does not live in a yellow submarine.