BAD GUY Funny Status Messages

   Why do women even try to talk about football? Do you see guys in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies?

   I wonder if Stevie Wonder knows he's black?

   Shut up unless you want your next period to come out through your nose.

   Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.

   Some people are as useless as a "Sign in" button for Myspace.

   If you were twice as smart, you'd still be the stupidest person I know!

   You know its time to move on when you start falling asleep during sex.

   During sex, do you think midgets do it puppystyle?

   Somewhere out there is a girl taking the batteries out of her remote for her Vibrator.

   Oh, I saw your new boyfriend. So what happened to your standards?

   Before having sex with a woman finger her and put it to her nose if she jumps back, kick that b*tch out.

   I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today ... that b*tch was seeing someone else.

   Great teamwork in a relationship is when a woman brings more than her looks to the table and a man brings more than a stiff d*ck.

   There is nothing wrong with saying no every once in awhile. It may piss a few people off but at least you will have some piece of mind!

   There's a limited amount of people whose feelings I care for. The rest of you all can go to a therapist for that.

   What did the left pu$$y lip say to the other? We used to be so tight until we let some d*ck come between us.

   BOY: Hey you must be tired... GIRL: Let me guess, coz I was running through your mind all day? BOY: Hell No! From jumping to conclusions, b*tch

   Air freshener: Because there's no louder way of telling the whole house you've just took a dump.

   I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.

   Fat chicks never forget a drunken hook-up, because an elephant never forgets.