joe fool Funny Status Messages

   What I don't get is how paper beats a rock. It should be changed to Rock, Bomb With A Cuttable Fuse, Scissors.

   also slept with Tiger Woods.

   I'm not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was thirty, but I wasn't even close. Then I thought maybe by forty, but by forty I had less money than I did when I was thirty.

   insecure and naturally picks on those who are weaker than himself to give him some demented sense of self worth.

   Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.

   Back in my day, evolution simply meant a more badass Pokemon.

   not only is band not a sport, it's just stupid. honestly. I want to watch football not freaks dressed up in some of the gayest costumes ever prance around the field

   In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just me a fist for punching.

   People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

   I never thought I would live to see the day that someone made a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group...

   I plan to only eat aberdeen angus beef for every meal in January. aberdeen angus beef that has been slain by my hands. my BARE hands!

   My phone says it's nippy out. I don't know why it says that but it seems to be true...

   sometimes I feel like a crayon in a box full of markers...

   you're oddly sophisticated in a paradoxal mannor leaving me in this difficult conundrum. it puzzles me beyond recovery. I spend weeks crying because I cannot liberate myself from this bewildered state. I even began to think that my dog was a large gerbil.

   Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.

   I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.

   The confetti in times square, I bet that came from Edward Cullen farting.

   Why did some make a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group on facebook??

   Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

   I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!