Tim Funny Status Messages

   microwaving metal objects.

   possibly doing something illegal right now.

   wants a Sunggie made out of ShamWow material

   showing his colleagues your profile and they're all laughing at your picture!

   walking through the intensive care unit dressed as the grimm reaper!

   thinks there are people in the cemetery that feel better than he does right now.

   fried, died, and layed to the side.

   out clubbing this weekend. I'm going to beat my record of 12 baby seals

   was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.

   so he thinks he can make the desicion to change our healthcare over night, comin from a guy who took three months to decide on the color of his new bed room, and 6 months on a dog....

   not lazy, he's just phsycially conservative.

   thinks that they should change the name of Starbucks to Fivebucks

   wishes my lawn was suicidal, then maybe it would cut itself!

   Did you see the new scratch off Lotto tickets at the Quikee mart? The jackpot is a Nobel peace prize!

   liking ones own status is a sign of self esteem. (X likes this)

   doesn't believe "meat curtain" is an appropriate reference for a woaman's parts. But he has to admit, an Arby's "Big Montana" bears a striking resembelance.

   stealing mannequin legs -- the make great stocking stuffers.

   doesn't think both of the Dr.'s hands belong on my shoulders during the prostate exam.

   wouldn't join any club that would accept him as a member.

   What's on my mind? Let's peer inside and listen... "Meow, meow, meow, meow..." Wow! That was akward.