Mick F Funny Status Messages

   The Twelve Jurors In The Casey Anthony Trial. Names Released! Homer Simpson, Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Kelly Bundy, Eric Cartman Joey Tribbiani, Beavis, Butthead, Edith Bunker, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Coyote.

   Initials and Acronyms. Casey Marie Anthony=CMA=Caylee's Murderer Acquitted

   I was on the phone last night with my mom and I was telling her that I had a real bad headache? She says, "You have any acetylsalicylic acid?" I said, "Ma, you mean aspirin?" She goes, “That's it, I can never remember that word.”

   There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

   You guys mind if I get this out of the way a little early? Thanks. Dear Monday, I hate you.

   The only thing left for me to do is to walk on water, and even at that some people would snicker and say, 'What, you can't swim?"

   When I think back at all the pluses of being Italian, the culture, the music, the cuisine, the women...the one thing that really stands out in my mind after all these years was that I netted more than $50,000.00 at my First Communion.

   My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma

   My girl and I are like oil and vinegar. We have to shake things up to make it work.

   I just made instant coffee in the microwave. I went back in time.

   We all could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

   Modern music is like Taco Bell. They keep coming up with new things using the same seven ingredients.

   Sometimes, you simply need to walk away from people that weren't who you thought they were...or more importantly, who you wanted them to be.

   My parents had a weird perspective on raising me. The day they brought me home from the hospital when I was born, they put a sign on my bedroom door: "Checkout Time is 18 years."

   I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one could drive.

   Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

   I can't wait to embark on this wonderfully mysterious, enchantingly romantic journey with you. The entire trip. All the way from, "Hello".....to...... "WTF JUDGE! THE HOUSE, THE CAR, AND PERMANENT ALIMONY TOO????"

   Camping? You want me to go camping? Listen...My idea of "roughing it" is a night at Motel 6 with no cable. ng it

   I can't sleep. There's nothing on TV except the Home Shopping Club, so I called 'em. They answer, "Home Shopping Club!" I said, "Hi." They said, "Can we help you?" I go, "Nah, I'm just looking."

   I was afraid the first time I went parachuting. The instructor said if I didn't jump, he'd stick his manhood where the sun doesn't shine. I jumped. A little.