Jen Briggs Funny Status Messages

   I would like an order of ambition, & a side of focus, and a large coffee. And could you super size that please? It really needs to last for the rest of the day.

   “People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about.”

   Two wrongs may not make a right, but damn, sometimes it sure puts a smile on my face!

   I figured out why I'm so fat! The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says "for extra volume and body". I'm going to start using Dawn dish washing soap. It says "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove".

   It's a new day - a chance to make new friends or piss off a whole new group of people. It could go either way.

   "Life is NOT like a box of chocolates, it's more like jar of jalapenos- what you do TODAY can burn your ass TOMORROW!

   Some people were dropped as children..But YOU my friend were clearly thrown at a wall!

   Contrary to popular belief, "Damn It" is not God's last name.

   thinking she needs a time out from being a grown-up!

   Don't ever think you're nothing because somewhere along the line, there's going to be someone who thinks you're everything.

   When you look, you see reflections of your yourself. When you listen, you hear echoes of yourself. If you don't like something about what you see and hear, no point in smashing the mirror, change who you are becoming.

   friends and condoms have something in common. . . they both protect you when things get hard.

   Today I didn't know what to do- the devil on my shoulder pushed my angel off other shoulder but just a moment ago the angel came back with a baseball bat!

   So I was at the park flying my kite and this random guy came up to me and said "You flying a kite?" I replied "Nah I'm fishing for birds"

   thinks some people wake up and eat a massive bowl of stupid for breakfast everyday!

   The secret to a great relationship...Argue Naked!

   An Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you will love it!"

   Everyday I think people can't get any more stupid and pretty much everyday I'm proven horribly wrong!

   when you focus on problems, you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities.

   If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter