Gary Funny Status Messages

   Ladies, best thing you can do before and after your pregnant....take some pics of yourself while your boobs are enhanced. :D Sincerely: Men who like boobs.

   ‎"POOF" did you see that?? No you didn't did you?? "MAGIC" that's why!!!

   Ahhh yes! My favourite day of the year, Friday the 13th,, ,, just sharpened my machete and dusted off my goalie mask,, well, off to the lake, see you later!!

   Happy Birthday to one of the greatest athletes EVER ..Muhammad Ali ...Happy 70th

   TWILIGHT - An epic saga about a young woman's struggle to choose between Necrophilia and Bestiality

   The girl said we were not spending enough time together, so we went to a movie,, she dragged me to Twilight,,, breakup T- minus one hour twenty three minutes!!

   wondering why in the year 2012 , My smoke detector can't decipher the difference between boiling water and and a real fire !

   Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...

   Two silk worms had a race ....they end up in a tie .....(Rimshot)

   The problem with reality is that there's no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.

   I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up!!!

   The animal responsible for the most human deaths worldwide is the mosquito.

   Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?

   To err is human , to arr is Pirate ...

   Just remembering my Saturday morning ...a bowl of trix , watch Super friends and Hong Kong Fuey and then my bike ..OUTSIDE till lunch .. great times

   To the man that went the Block Buster store ?? Did you kick in the plywood around the windows or did Wayne Huizenga give you a key ??

   Like if you remember only having 3 TV channels to choose from and YOU were the remote!

   The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

   Like if you remember buying really silly stuff from Ronco ...Mr Microphone .. The pocket fisherman...aand who could forget the "Chop O Matic "

   When discussing geology and erosion, I often get sedimental and break down.