Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

   If your uncle jack is stuck on your roof ; would you help your Uncle Jack Off?

   Annoyed by something a billion times smaller then her.....a fly

   Doesnt Need Drugs She's Naturally Retarded

   Loves U2 !! (The Band Or You)

   You Lost The Game (X Is Going To Have Lots Of Thumb Downs)

   10 feet tall, weighs 500lbs, breathes fire and can take a shot gun blast standing

   Met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it

   's Friend was hit by a dodge, which I found to he/she found both funny and ironic

   nothing is impossible coz impossible itself says "i m possible"

   thinking that if ballerinas were just a little bit taller they wouldn't have to dance on their tippy-toes so much.

   Fishing Like a Chinese Cockle Picker

   wondering if Chris Brown releases a "greates hits" cd.....will that violate his probation????

   really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

   will never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience.

   If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

   playing hide and seek with a guy called Trouble. Its as if he wants me to find him.

   ˙sıɥʇ op pןnoɔ noʎ ɥsıʍ noʎ ʍouʞ noʎ

   People hang on my every word, even the prepositions. I could disarm you with my looks... or my hands... either way. I can speak French... in Russian. I am 'The Most Interesting Man in the World'.

   polling as many bears as he can to find out if they really crap in the woods, or if they go by a tree like in the charmin commecials!!!