Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   going to see if mars is edible back in 10 thousand years brb

   Employees caught speaking Spanish will be paid in Pesos.

   Shake the family tree...and watch the nuts fall !!

   Yesterday the house was clean, sorry you missed it.

   I came...I saw....I decided to order take out !

   You can smoke in your own home. But if a Burglar brakes in to your house, you must stub out the cigarette as it is now the Burglar work place! (stupid UK laws)

   just been sworn in as the "new" King of Pop.

   wondering how many iPhones there is more to come, first 2g, 3g and now 3gs. what's next. 3gsssxczklndvlgas!!!!!!!

   it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?

   never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

   would call you a tool, but even THEY serve a purpose.

   got drunk with Captain Morgan this weekend and forgot about his mean right hook!

   suffering from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. (It means a fear of large words)

   Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

   Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.

   If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

   The problem with the Gene pool is there arn't any lifeguards.

   Save the environment...plant a Bush back in Texas.

   If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.

   I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.