Funny Status Messages

   just discovered tha ketchup is hydrophobic! (^3^)

   likes romantic dinners, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with sticks..

   in the Smokin' Section lookin' for the hot women. Such a deceiving sign, there's none here

   Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper

   wanted to burn some calories today, so I set fire to a fat kid.

   smile and the world smiles with you, fart and you're on your own.

   knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.

   feeling a few fries short of a happy meal today. . .

   Last night I dreamt that I died and went to heaven... but nobody spoke english!!

   "If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious...

   that if SHE ruled the world, the first thing she would do is get rid of those annoying adverts that sing about it!

   ..wonders what life was like before Facebook. Oh yeah. MySpace.

   wondering what happened to the California Raisins? Did they break up? Did they settle down and have any little Grapes?

   has just typed Smirnoff into his phone using predictive text and is now very worried

   says a dog is truly mans best friend. Lock the Mrs and the dog in the boot of the car for an hour on a hot day, which one is pleased to see you?

   away for the next 20 mins. Am watching widescreen porn so need to minimise Facebook

   calling someone out on Facebook is like winning the gold medal in the Special Olympics: In the end, you are still retarded.

   - Hard drive, floppy drive, flash drive, stiffy disk. Who comes up with these names?

   thankfully does not live in a yellow submarine.

   "Arsene has brought us success, beautiful football and the glorious Thierry Henry. But if the Adebayor deal falls through, I swear I'll rip his cock out through his nose."