Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Remembers the time when we memorized phone numbers of our friends, family, and spouses. Now we can't even remember our parents' numbers without looking down at the phone.

   It's extraordinary when a person comes in contact with a spider web or a bug lands on them, they become a Kung-Fu master.

   Try NOT. Do…or do not. There is no try. ~ Master Yoda (Star Wars)

   You're always like a "deer in the headlights" when you look at the menu at Dairy Queen....You just don't know what to get.

   I'm glad people don't talk the way they spell, text, or type.

   Forget about differences, let's talk about our similaritites. You ever wake up in the middle of the night, and you don't know what freakin' day it is?

   November 8th 2011: Call of Duty: MW3 + Alcohol + Women = A Night to Remember

   trust and friendship can be tested by how long a person borrows an item of yours for so long and return it back in the same condition.

   True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"

   The media loves controlling this country. They promote NOT to drink & drive/text & drive but yet every third commercial its either about a car, a phone, or a alcoholic drink...and a little bit of insurance ads down your throat.

   If you're agruing with an idiot for more than a minute, then there will be two idiots.

   They need to make some people's mouth like a cell phone plan. When their Mouth Minutes run out, they shut up for the rest of the month....until they pay to talk to you.

   Play any of the Terminator or Conan video games nowadays and amazingly the 'cheat codes' will be already be turned on.

   The "problems" in your life can't be that bad if you can update a facebook status... How bad can life be if you have internet access or a cell phone with a data plan.

   The News Feed sure does have a lot of sales on Spam Jordans and Nike shoes.

   You ever notice how awful your face looks in public restrooms full of fluorescent lights? Every cut, scrap, scratch, scar, scab, zit, bump, blemish, and pimple you had all seem to come out at the same time.

   Anthony Weiner just needs to call Bill Clinton and get advice from a pro.

   Every time I see these college/university commercials on TV, the my brain just keeps screaming (SCAM!, SCAM!, SCAM!, SCAAAAAAM!)

   Circus + shopping = Walmart

   Surround yourself with Contenders, not Pretenders.