Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm in shape...Round is a shape...isn't it ?

   Hey, I'm not fat! I'm just a nutritional overachiever.

   Anyone looking for a husband obviously never had one !

   Husband and Dog missing...25 cent reward for dog.

   My husband wears the pants in the family... I just tell him what ones to wear.

   wondering why black socks have more lint than white socks

   wondering when dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it?

   Does it count as cheating if you put it in her bum?

   thinks if there wasn't a last minute he'd never get anything done

   reading the top 10 best grilled sandwiches. Mmmmmm... Chutney.

   a good source of vitamin AWESOME.

   awake and sober...WTF?

   thinkin'... well, la-dee-frickin-da !!!

   that shirt makes you look like a gay pack of skittles

   wondering if crematoriums give discounts to ppl who die in fires...

   understands that hard work has a future payoff... but laziness pays off now :)

   as confused as an alcoholic in a liquor store...

   giving his pillow some head and his comforter some ass

   learned that "The" + "rapist" = "Therapist"

   NOT overweight. You just get 25% more for FREE!!! Now that's a deal.