Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   the best money can buy...or bribe.

   trust him with your life, not your money or your wife.

   has got Hulk's on Tap, N%$GA!

   walking through the intensive care unit dressed as the grimm reaper!

   denies eating rubber

   playing the fuzzy bunny game

   riding the ponys outside walmart and has ran outta quarters! SEND HELP!!

   a GREAT source of protein...come and get it!

   proud of himself. He just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years!

   wondering if Jesus ever wore a W.W.I.D bracelet?

   reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol

   ... The most common form of marriage proposal: "YOUR WHAT".

   it may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others...

   grinning from beer to beer.

   living in a van... down by the river.

   doesn't know where the continuum transfunctioner(a device whose mystery is only exceeded by its power)is, but Zoltan won't stop bothering me

   not superstitious. Well... maybe a little stitious.

   knows how you feel...she just doesn't care

   I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener.

   I cook with wine...Sometimes I even put it in the food !