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wants to remind everyone that tomorrow at 5 minutes and 6 seconds past 4 the time and date will be 4:05:06 07/08/09. 
wondering if i'm updating my facebook status now, then who is watching the hostages?
seriously needs a speed bump between his brain and his mouth!
thinks the best part about his job is that his chair spins!
has been watching a lot of these prison shows on TV and is wondering why you never see any midgets in prison? Is it because they get much shorter sentences?. . .
wonders if people in France say "Pardon my English" when they swear..
I read that smoking is bad so I stopped smoking, I read drinking is bad so I stopped drinking, I read that sex is bad so I stopped reading.
asks that you please refrain from posting sexist status messages. Seriously, broads HATE that! . . .
starting to agree with the voices in his head......
wonders, If walking is supposed to be so good for you, why does my mailman look like Jabba The Hut? I'm just sayin'!
wearing nothing but a smile
when I'm right, I'm right. When I'm wrong I could have been right. So I'm right because I could have been wrong!
showing his colleagues your profile and they're all laughing at your picture!
thinks virgins just don't know what they're missing...
wondering why is your full attention on my status bar. To late your caught already.
what the hell.......what is that following me? Oh thats the money I could be saying. *que music*
thinking his Leggo My Eggo Defense" will not hold up in a court of law.
about go over to my grandmas house at 3 A.M in the morning so I can wake her up and get on her nerves!
loves animals...especially in gravy
has the feeling she needs to do the housework, gonna sit down with a coffee and wait for the feeling to pass
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