Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Q: What was the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

   wondering why do we even update this crap?

   Old people are so cute...And they smell funny

   just discovered that in Wingdings 2, the letters "M" and "J" are a white glove and a black hand. Michael Jackson conspiracy theory number 1...

   they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

   counting it down..only 54749 days until Bernie Madoff gets out of Jail.

   I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act!

   hopes he can buy Billy Mays beard, that thang is magnificent!

   I hear MJ was on a number of rx drugs, weighed 112lbs, and could barely speak moments before his death. where can I get my wife that prescription?

   ....he bumped his head and went to bed and couldn't get up in the morning.

   Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"

   swayed by the way you think

   in a relationship with Farrah. X changed his relationship status to "complicated

   created an idiot proof facebook status, click >HERE< to see it

   am I the only person who thinks Michael Jackson isn't dead ..... he's just hiding with Elvis.

   It takes 10 people to change a lightbulb because 9 of us are on Facebook.

   ......I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.'

   Crowded Elevators always smell different to midgets....

   was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger. Then it hit him.

   looking for a lover, no, not you, you, over there, with the big....