Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   shocked to hear of the discovery of the body of the local pizza man covered in cheese and pepperoni....police believe he topped himself

   heard that the Jackson Family has asked, in memoryu of Michael, all little boys to wear their pants at half mast today

   drives way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

   god.... temporarily

   doesn't use no double negatives.

   In Britain, some 50 chavs die every week from drinking too much Tesco-brand vodka... Every little helps!

   Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

   is secretly hoping that the video her and Paris Hilton made last night gets 'accidently' discovered

   Girls are like horoscopes,,they always tells us what to do and they are always wrong !!!

   read in the Kmart ad that as a tribute to Michael Jackson, they are running a sale on little boys underwear .. they are 1/2 off!

   if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

   man on toilet, is high on pot.

   beatby my computer at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing

   doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.

   that most likely, Tito will be handing out more than his usual amount of tissues this weekend.

   thinks a clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

   taking life with a pinch of Salt...with a slice of lemon...and a shot of Tequlia!!!

   wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger. Then it hit

   Sometimes I wake up grumpy… other times I do the easier thing and let her sleep.

   some say the glass is half empty, some say it's half full... I say "Are you gonna drink that?"