Funny Status Messages

   A skeleton was trying to fart in a crowded place but in the end it couldn't because it had no guts.

   Powerless to know the truth... Blinded by what I wanted to see... Ashamed that I let you in... Painful with how I'm left feeling... Devastated as I knew better...

   flashing your titts in public doesnt make you a wh*re, its makes you AWESOME!!

   The reverse side also has a reverse side?

   Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

   I used to love, respect and cherish every moment we spent together and then something happened...oh yeah, I built a bridge and got over it!

   whatever I want too!!

   voices!!!! screamin in my head dont lead the path that I tread!

   Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

   If you suddenly find you cannot fix it, screw it up so nobody else can !

   I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

   If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

   pretty sure that if fortune telling was real every fortune in every fortune cookie would read "You are about to eat a stale cookie, boo-yah!"

   sometimes feels like I'm stuck at school in an episode of Peanuts where all I hear is "blah blah blah...blah blah...blah blah blah blah"

   your hairstyle aint your lifestyle

   In the 1960's, people took acid to make the world weird... Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

   I think all woman should come with a satisfaction guarantee label

   learnt a valuable lesson today about not putting "PUSH DOOR" stickers onto glass sliding doors, he would also like to wish a speedy recovery to Jill in HR, although the b*tch really did have it coming...

   I was recently diagnosed with CDO. Its the same thing as OCD its just in alphabetical order, the way it should be!

   I think I've watched too many scary movies because every time I go to Chic-fil-a I find they are way too nice. I keep expecting their eyes to roll back in to their head while they are smiling and saying "its my pleasure to serve you."