Funny Status Messages

   my ex got run down by a lorry today.i thought "wow,that could have been me!" but I cant drive a lorry!

   What's the difference between pink and purple? The grip.

   What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on.

   I don't get the toilet seat issue that women have. I won't put my naked *ss on anything without looking at it first. Apparently some women are not so discriminating...

   Logged into my Orkut account after a long long time...Found 3 dead mice, a broken light bulb, shattered window pane and a few spider webs...

   desperatly trying to on who came up with the idea of bright colored play toys for dogs if they are colorblind to begin with.

   God please bring 2012 soon I cant take it any more...

   ...is hoping that Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan find each other...

   Mummy I'm 16, Can I wear a bra? ..... No Justin.

   the letter after W and the letter before Y...duh?! :)

   if Paul the octopus was so smart, he wouldn't have been captured in the first place.

   Just said Hi to a person with an ugly smile. I hope there having a good day???

   It's a dog-eat-dog world out there...don't get caught wearing 'milk-bone' underwear!

   R.I.P. Mr. Steinbrenner... I never really "hated" your Yankees, just wish you would have bought the Braves!

   With the "You've Won The Nigerian Lottery" to these "Libido Sex Pill Enhancer" emails I should be leading quite the life.

   The Nigerian goalkeeper is refunding money for anybody that was disappointed with their performance at the World Cup. He said, a representative will contact you via email. Please give them your bank account #s and pin information...

   Just reported Mr. Steinbenner will be broadcasting a ESPN special tonight at 9 pm eastern to decide if he will go to Heaven or Hell.

   As I grow older and wiser, I am increasingly aware that mostly, I'm just growing older..

   Life insurance advertisements during "Final Destination". Touché insurance companies... touché

   ..instead of politicians saying "My heart goes out to the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan..." how about saying "A plane goes out to the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan to get them the f*ck out of there!"?