Funny Status Messages

   on a scale of 1 to justin bieber , how gay are you?

   I never knew how corny some of my friends were before I added them on Facebook.

   A ducks opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether or not I have any bread.

   ... the weather guy just said, "We'll keep you up to breast" instead of "abreast." Guess this heat is getting to him, too ...

   in honor of Michael Jackson, I think I will start the day off with the famous "crazy feet" dance and end with grabbing my foster home sack!!

   ...just heard that the Jackson family has asked, In honor of the 1-year anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson, that all child actors wear their pants at "half-staff" today...

   I don't run from hurricanes, I drink them.........

   now knows what happened to Michael Jackson. South Africa made thousands of vuvuzela horns out of him.

   just watched World Cup Highlights of all the goals scored. That's 43 seconds of my life I will never get back!

   What part of Floccinaucinihilipilification dont you understand?

   how IRONIC hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is the fear of long words

   I'm just not that into you.....when I'm sober.

   Give peace a chance. Move to a new town and don't tell your relatives.

   If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

   I decided I wasn't bad enough soo from here on out I'm gonna bathe naked...Yep thats right Butt Naked...

   "What's that!! An earthquake?" "YES!! RUN!!!" "OMG, WAIT" *runs to the computer and writes on Facebook* EARTHQUAAAAAAAKE!!!

   I hope Gryffindor wins the World Cup.

   I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt. Undoubtedly, all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony.

   I'm only on here for entertainment. Please don't try and make me learn anything.

   I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them we've have a problem.