Funny Status Messages

   ab/2k[zhi6op7/vb Sorry, there was a spider on the keyboard, but it's dead now. Wait, gzfew!1;p9nmkxpxq Okay, now it's dead.

   I know SIX facts about you. 1.) You're on your phone or computer. 2.) You're reading this. 3.) You're still reading this. 5.) You didn't realize that I skipped #4. 7.) You're checking and now smiling. 8.) You didn't realize that I skipped #6.

   ahahahahaH !nothing at ... awesome you're think I that you tell to just trouble this of all through go you made I (NOW READ BACKWARDS)

   Some of yall dressing y’all kids for red ribbon week then smoking a blunt after they go to school.

   Being in a relationship is solving problems together; Problems you wouldn't have if you were single.

   Massacre

   Walmart will be closed on Thanksgiving day so that the self checkers can be with their families

   Dear Mr troll some cure disease in life some stop wars you have been able to destroy a fun site to visit. Maybe you can move out of nanas basement next.

   I'm not turning my clock back an hour on Nov 1st because seriously none of us need an extra hour of 2023.

   Sometimes I think Facebook needs a "Slap you in the Face" button.

   Okay, we got the message. The guy from 'Friends' died.

   Lol lmao

   My eight-year-old just asked me if Bingo was the name of the farmer or the dog. Now I am questioning everything I thought I knew about life.

   A Karen just yelled at me in a parking lot that dressing up as a bum for Halloween is offensive to the homeless people. But I was just wearing my regular clothes.

   MARTHA ! You do have your medicare card. I don't blame you.

   My angel sent from above. <3

   I just killed a huge mouse. Ripped it to bits. The staff at Disneyland is furious.

   If you really can't stand someone, lend them $100 dollars. Chances are, you'll never see them again.

   How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they don't get the house anyway.

   It's finally November! That means it's time I get to start saying the two words everybody wants to hear: Merry Christmas!