Funny Status Messages

   Regreting is only a waste of time. if something happened,accept that it happened and there is nothing that can be done to change it.just be happy that it is not yet the end of the world.

   Since I'm now single, if I broke my hand could I put "it's complicated" as my relationship status?

   If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of it

   .i. love \i/

   Lights off, Music on, Phone in silent mode, tired body and calm mind; Perfect recipe for good night sleep.

   A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

   There is a light at the end of every tunnel….just pray it's not a train!.

   what does Relationship Status "ITS COMPLICATED" really means...Does it mean a Single man with Broken Hand or a Married person not getting any sex and hand broken too.?...Somebody please EXPLAIN

   LOVE is one night stand..........TRUE LOVE is one night stand with same person lifelong..:)

   Hi, I'm Israel and I'm fxckd up. US, get your priorities straight. Killing sailors on an aid flotilla has pushed the limits of Israel's crimes against humanity.

   Ladies when it comes to Men if you dont do anything that affects their 5 senses then they'l never feel what you are trying to express......

   and that ladies and gentlemen is why I have never and will never like the Israeli government.

   Wondering if film directors wake up screaming"CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares?

   OPThinks BP should try dumping a few million copies of "The Audacity of Hope" on top of that leak in the gulf and see if that works.

   has some silly bandz, shaped, well... like circles... trade??

   just informed that her Birth Certificate has expired.

   Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”

   LOGOUT: The hardest button to click on Facebook.

   thinks Apple needs a device that emits warning signals that a loser is approaching...call it the iPutz.

   Don't let life get in the way of your dreams... go back to sleep!