Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   had terrible piles since having her children.............. Piles of washing, Piles of ironing, Plies of dishes, Piles of toys.............

   ...Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm...

   ...Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...

   ...They called it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken....

   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

   handing out sence of humor transplants and you guys are first in line

   ... This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting...

   how do you know that a man has a high sperm count?......you have to chew before you can swallow.

   waited patiently in line for 'free willy', only to discover it was a film!

   such a thrill seeker. when I see "caution wet floor" signs, I speed up.

   There is always time for everything we want to do in life.

   Everything in life is temporary, the happiness and the sorrows, so live your life to the fullest everyday.

   single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!

   doing the Helen Keller and talking with her hips.

   Girls are like butterfly; they land on your hand if you open it for them. they fly away if you chase them.

   happy that the Statute of Limitations has finally expired, and he can finally admit that he is, in fact, the one who let the dogs out.

   slept with the extended network

   offline will be right back before you pronounce cattneuvmment bafatdye zsaasssdhgne

   leting his eye lashes hug each other for few hours.

   walking his/her gerbil around the block. This could take a while (small legs you know)